PIPER’S GREASE INDUCED HEART ATTACK

Gypsy’s Shiny Diner

There is a shiny silver double wide located just off 40 on Buck Jones Rd. It’s called Gypsy’s Shiny Diner.  It first opened it’s doors in 1997, and is fashioned after an old diner from the 50’s – neon signs, formica tables and vintage chairs with the pleather cushions.  If you are in the area, and feel the need to take a trip back in time…to the late 90’s…when re-making old diners was all the rage, then do it! Otherwise..I’d pass.

http://www.gypsysshinydiner.com

Overall:  2.3 out of 5

Food/Beverage:  1.5 out of 5

Ambiance:  2.5 out of 5

Value:  1.5 out of 5

Service: 4 out of 5

And that feels like a stretch.  The saving grace was literally our server.  She greeted us quickly, brought us coffee on the regular and had plenty of information.  The server seemed to know every person that came through the door.  I enjoyed her, and appreciated her honesty.  As per usual, I asked her what her favorite item was.  She said the french toast.  I decided that I would order the French Toast Sticks (small – 4 pieces) with two eggs.  She quickly stated that the french toast sticks were not exactly what you might expect.  She began describing this fruity medley with coconut, mango, pineapple…well, I was planning on sharing them with my breakfast companion (who is allergic to peach).  I asked if there was peach and she told me that she had no idea…because they are a frozen product.  I wanna say this item was over $7 – for 4 pieces of frozen bread covered in some crazy frozen fruit mix?  You have to be joking.

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The restaurant itself looks like a silver double wide – it’s kinda cool, if you like throwback vintage style decorations.

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And the inside has crazy neon signs throughout. The place is clean – cleaner than most diners.

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And they do have some vintage juke boxes on the tables.  One of the other visitors played the one on their table – it was obnoxiously loud.

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I considered stealing the ketchup bottle…I mean really, they owed me after nearly killing me, then charging me an arm and a leg for it.  To put it mildly, I left feeling overwhelmed by the amount of grease I had consumed.  I guess that’s what you expect at a diner, sort of. Some do it well, and even though you think WOW, that was a lot of grease, you don’t worry that heart attack is eminent.  Today was a different story.  I felt my blood stiffening into a thick, syrup like substance…slowly strangling my heart.

hash browns and eggs

Here’s the culprit, now!  I’ll tell ya, the hash browns weren’t bad – but they were the general purpose for my newfound sloth.  They were cooked to the correct doneness – no raw bits, nice and crispy – but were dripping with grease, so much so that I frequently had grease dripping down my chin.  Just from bringing fork to face.  I had them add cheddar cheese, which was a nice touch.  The eggs themselves were fine, but eerily rounded to perfection.  I had asked if I could exchange the toast for a biscuit (they did have biscuits and gravy on the menu).  The server politely informed me that they don’t offer their biscuits separately from the biscuits and gravy dish.  Sounds like another frozen entree to me.

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My companion ordered the huge omelet, garden veggie style, with toast and grits.  The grits were clearly some sort of instant variety, where you just add the water and boil for a few minutes.  She enjoyed the omelet, veggies seemed fresh enough, but it was probably had at least 6 eggs packed into it.

Cake Case

They did have a good looking cake cooler with several items I would probably enjoy, if I were able to ever eat again.  But who knows if they were made in house, frozen…I’m not sure.  And I’m not sure I want to know.

Overall, I wasn’t very pleased by the experience.  I’d categorize this as a dive, and I will, but the prices were crazy.  I paid over $9 for coffee, 2 eggs, hash browns with cheese and 4 pieces of sloppy, greasy toast.  You can get a 2 egg breakfast special and coffee for $7 anywhere else.

I won’t go back, unless someone REALLY wants to go.  And then I’ll probably eat first.  Or take some Lipitor or something before I go.  Ugh.  Time for a food coma.  If you don’t hear from me for a while, please send EMS.

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